Loving Yourself First - A Sacred Act of Faith
Love your neighbour as yourself, and that means - You
Have you ever wondered how I love myself? Truly love myself?
Have you ever wondered if it is wrong to love yourself while being a parent?
In the first commandment, the Bible tells us that we should
love the Lord first, with everything, and all of us, and then we should love
our neighbour as ourselves. The first part says love God, then the second part
says love yourself, and the third part says love your neighbour. I think a lot of
us miss that concept. It therefore means that after God, it is us! We should
look at our child/ren as our neighbours in the sense of loving them, caring for
them, after we do the same for ourselves.
I thought putting myself first was wrong as I am sure many of you may thhink, that it was all
about my son, especially since I am a lone parent. But what a load of lies. That’s
the enemy sneaking in and using the world’s view to mess us up. I believe that
if I don’t take care of myself first, then I cannot take care of my son
properly. After meditating on God’s words, I came to realise this truth;
therefore, I need good sleep, peace of mind, strength, joy, I need food, care
and me time to be an effective parent. If I am cranky and shouting and being
impatient and unkind, what kind of a child would I be raising?
And yet at one point, I was just that because I didn’t
understand, I didn’t realise I was failing my son because I wasn’t putting myself
first. It took a lot of prayer, self-belief and discovery in Jesus for me to
come to this new belief – that I should put myself first to be of service to my
son. The result is that my son is calmer, happier, and genuinely wants to play
with me and have me around. He’s not asking if mommy is upset, or if I am sad
or angry. I have to be intentional. The work is not easy, but it is necessary. As
Christians, we think that some things cannot affect us, but we are wrong. We are
all human beings and full of self, pride, and whatever else that is out there. We
have to do the internal work, looking to Jesus our Lord and Saviour, our hope,
by praying, reading the Word, and believing it for our lives.
I did a lot of Bible plans that involved growth, discipline,
expectations, parenting, money, and so much more. I needed to learn how to be a
parent, not just from the books written by the world, but from those who believed
in God. I read and listened to audiobooks to help grow my mind and change my
thinking. I have done and am still doing the internal work so that I can become
the parent my son deserves to have. Trauma starts young, and I intend to try my
best at helping my son to have a fulfilling life in Christ so that he knows
about love, peace of mind, faith, and the goodness of God. As children of The
Most High God, we should strive to be a blessing, not a hindrance, and if we do
not work on ourselves first, we cannot be effective parents.
Where are your concerns in your life regarding your child or
children?
Why not look internally at how you can first care for yourself,
and then see how much better you feel
Are you burnt out and stretched to the max?
What can you do to change that?
There are days when I go slow, the washing piles up a bit, and
the place is a mess because I need to recoup. I tell my toddler I need 5 mins
to close my eyes, and I do internal work right there. I go to my mind, I pray, I
thank God, and I call into my being His words of love, or I tell myself I am
loved, I am a blessing. I sit there or lie there, and I take deep, intentional
breaths that calm my system and help me visualise and feel better. I speak things
into being, and I say words of gratitude, and then the 5 minutes are up. I use a
small minute hourglass to help my son know when time is going. He leaves me
alone just for 5 minutes, and it helps. Those 5 minutes help me to reset and
become a better parent for him to continue throughout the day. How do you help
yourself?
Not everything is for everyone, and we as mothers need to be
able to find just what we need to become our best selves. The world is already
judging us for not having a man and raising our children on our own, without
asking questions of why. We are already a statistic in the eyes of the world, by
I rebuke that and speak life, hope, peace over my circumstances. I intend to push
boundaries and transform my mind for Christ so that He can live in me and show
me my pathway. My child and yours can be happy, healthy and successful children
coming from a single-parent household which is already faced with it's many issues. That happens when the parents are
intentional about caring for themselves, so the child benefits in every way.
A Solo Mom Toolkit will be available soon to share
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