Letting Go of Past Mistakes: A Mental Recharge for the Solo Mom

  

 

I chose this topic today because I have had to do the internal work to free my mind from the traps of the past. That’s the enemy’s tactic, not God’s. The enemy, the Bible says, comes to steal. Kill and destroy, but Christ came so we can live and have life more abundantly. That means a new way of thinking and being, of showing up daily in speech, attitude and belief. As I write, I realise just how far I have come in my journey of single parenthood. The work I had to do and the reprogramming that has taken place using the Word of God and the books He brought to me has certainly transformed who I am today. God doesn’t make mistakes, as a matter of fact, in His Word it says His word cannot return to Him void.’ Those are words to help you live a better life here on earth while we wait for his kingdom to come.

Have you ever looked back at a moment and whispered, ‘I wish I’d done that differently?’
Perhaps it was a parenting decision, a relationship you stayed in too long, a financial misstep, or how you spoke to your child when you were tired and running on empty.

As solo mothers, we hold so much. We show up for our children, we carry the weight of provision, protection, and prayer, and somewhere in all that, we also carry the heaviness of our regrets. But here’s the truth: carrying yesterday will rob you of today. And letting go isn’t just about forgetting—it’s about releasing, healing, and renewing your mind in Christ. Sitting and stewing in the past mistakes will only fill you with shame and continuous guilt. Let it go – it does not serve you. Stop beating yourself up!

 The Weight We Don’t Talk About

It took me a while to admit it—I was holding onto guilt.
Guilt about not being ‘enough.’
Guilt about raising my son on my own.
Guilt for snapping, for overthinking, for not always being present, calm, or perfectly composed.

But guilt doesn’t grow you. It keeps you stuck.

The enemy thrives in shame. He’ll whisper, “You messed up.” And if you let him, he’ll convince you to stay there, in emotional paralysis, believing that your past disqualifies your future.

That’s a lie. Because every solo mom who’s walked through mistakes and still shows up, still prays, still hugs her child through the tears—is walking redemption out in real time.

 

Scripture Reminds Us of This:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18-19

“There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” – Romans 8:1

These verses are permission to use the word of God to:
forgive yourself, heal, and rebuild the story without carrying the ashes.

 

A Mental Recharge Starts With Release

Letting go isn’t passive—it’s an active spiritual surrender. Here's how I began:

1. I Faced My Mistakes Honestly

I wrote down what haunted me. Parenting choices. Past relationships. Missed opportunities. That means a lot of writing. I love journaling, and it has helped me to let out and let go of the things in my mind that were just circling like vultures over a carcass. I found healing in doing that, and instead of judging myself, I saw them through the lens of grace. God had forgiven me of my past mistakes because I asked him to, so why was I holding onto this guilt?

2. I Prayed Through the Pain

I stopped rushing the healing and started letting God walk me through it. I said, “Lord, I can’t carry this anymore. I give it to You.” And I meant it. I surrendered everything, and that took a while. I can be a stubborn Scorpio woman. The moment I told the Lord I was tired of carrying the burdens, it went; I felt lighter, my mind filled with peace, and I just let Him help.

3. I Journaled Letters of Release

One to myself: “I forgive you. You were doing your best with what you had.”
One to past decision: “You were part of the journey, but you don’t define me.” This was new to me, but it helped, and I backed this up with a technique I learned from a psychologist. He taught me the empty chair technique. It is used to help with releasing the past. So effective.

4. I Created New Affirmations – Mirror Technique

• I am not my past. I am His promise.
• I release shame and receive peace.
• My child sees my healing, and that’s a powerful testimony.

 

What Happens When You Let Go

Your nervous system calms.
Your relationships deepen.
Your parenting becomes more peaceful.
And your identity starts shifting from “wounded” to “warrior.”

My son now sees a mom who laughs more. Who says sorry when she messes up, without shame.  

“We all make mistakes—but we don’t live in them.”

Solo motherhood doesn’t require perfection. It asks for presence, grace, and wisdom.

Try This: 5-Minute Grace Ritual

If you’re holding on to something today, pause and practice this:

1. Sit quietly. Close your eyes.
2. Say aloud: “God, I release what no longer serves me.”
3. Take five deep breaths—inhale peace, exhale shame.
4. Whisper: “I am becoming. I am free. I am forgiven.”
5. Write down what you’re releasing, then tear it up or tuck it away as a symbol of surrender.

A Final Encouragement

If you’ve been replaying a mistake, I need you to hear this:

• God already knows.
• He’s not surprised.
• And He still chose you to mother your children!
• You are not the anger that rose when you were overwhelmed.
• You are not the relationship that didn’t last.
• You are not the financial strain or the moment you missed.
• You are the mother who rose anyway.
• The woman who is becoming new.
• The daughter of a God who makes beauty out of brokenness.
• Not because it didn’t happen—
• But because you're worth everything that comes after.